on sabbatical…

i think i was supposed to miss you, and at first i thought that i did. but it turns out i missed some of what surrounded you. i missed the relationships that developed, the sense of being a part of something, and the opportunity to serve with my talents in numerous ways. strangely, your absence hasn’t made much of a dent. my longing has nearly subsided and my heart is feeling quite full… i haven’t seen you in months.

i was told you’d bring my life meaning, you’d assist in my completion. you sold yourself as a savior and disappointed me deeply. i find it difficult to regret leaving you since my mind is at peace, my hope is well placed, and my security now resourced differently. i have found friendships without your assistance. i have joined forces with all sorts. and i’m perfectly content to serve strangers… i just wish i was serving you.

i’m supposed to be on the hunt for another, but being without has come to be quite comfortable. i meet people often who walked away and never turned back. i meet others that return on account of guilt or fear. but i haven’t any guilt, i haven’t any fear, if anything, i’m feeling quite free. i wanted us to need each other. i wanted us to work together and make something brilliant… you didn’t see my value.

is it so harsh for me to say i feel you’re losing your significance, your senses, your sobriety? that your system has compromised your symmetry? i fell in love with your potential, a promise without any provision or evidence. He said it was you, He intends for it to be you, but you have delayed for what seems like centuries. you’ve been reasoning and rewriting His plan… you are His first choice.

i will make my return, but i’m not in any hurry. i will partner, but i’ll take my time.

i’ve already made my choice, now i’m just delaying a little while longer.

give you some time to make your plans, give me some time to enjoy the quiet.

 

“Better a dry crust with peace and quiet than a house full of feasting, with strife.”

Proverbs 17:1 NIV

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  • Comments (10)
  1. His intentions are not always obeyed…

    moving post.

      • JuliaKate
      • February 16th, 2011

      sadly that’s true.

  2. feeling you sister. wrote some of my feelings on my sabbatical the other day. enjoy. http://thejourneyofswodeck.wordpress.com/2011/02/01/318/

      • JuliaKate
      • February 16th, 2011

      gonna go check that out… thanks!

    • Tassie
    • February 15th, 2011

    You are so deep!!!

    • Dorienne
    • February 15th, 2011

    I suspect more and more people embrace this kind of “sabbatical” in order to truly apprehend a relationship with G-d. We’re tired of the one-dimensional ego show.

      • JuliaKate
      • February 16th, 2011

      i suspect the same…

    • Vicki
    • February 16th, 2011

    Many times I read your posts and I am right there with you. I too am on sabbatical and it’s been the most invigorating, liberating, frustrating, agonizing time I’ve had in my 37 years on God’s earth. I will continue to be on sabbatical until He leads me out of it. I make no apologies or excuses for this time off, as should no one. It seems trite of me to respond to your beautiful words that echo His Word with just one word, but I must – WORD!

      • JuliaKate
      • February 17th, 2011

      no excuses here either… really enjoying my sabbatical, whether that scares people or not. we’ll make our return, just taking time to enjoy a little peace and quiet;) Word.

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