It’s Complicated…

so, i’ve been on the hunt for a small group within my church. it’s finally that time to connect with the folks who are a part of the community i witness weekly. i’ve been attending for awhile now, and realized that i haven’t met a bless-ed soul just sitting in my seat. well, i mean, we’ve said hello during the afforded greeting and exchanged names, but in all honesty i forget them by the time i shake the next hand. i love people, i just suck at remembering names and the experience of shaking hands for 3 minutes isn’t really all that memorable.

a few weeks ago i got a list of local small groups. the guy in charge recommended i check out two different ones. “what?” i thought. if i show up and meet a bunch of people, whether we connect or not, i’m going to feel obligated to return. i hate rejecting people. hate. hate. hate it. i went home and for a few days thought it over. i convinced myself that being specific with what i was desiring was important in finding a small group. even if i met the sweetest folks, if it wasn’t what i had decided on then i’d need to move on. urggh. okay. i gave it a go.

i laid it out plain. i’m looking for people i can connect with on designated departments within my life. nice is a given, not an asset. welcoming is an obvious, not a deciding factor. i was looking for truth lovers, Spirit followers, kingdom pushers, and community dwellers. no b.s. basically. another thing i was looking for was strong and present leadership. not controlling, manipulating or monopolizing, but strong in wisdom and respectability. if a group has no leader, i will feel the anxiety to lead. if delusive opinions are spoken and not gracefully corrected, i feel the responsibility to speak up.

joining a small group, for me, is the next step in the church relationship process. when a group is decided on, then i’ll begin to inquire on an area of service that could most utilize what i carry. and then that’s it… i’m in. i still have my doubts about my church choice. i still wake up on sunday mornings not wanting to go. but the difference is, after i’m there, i’m glad i came and i leave better than when i had arrived. perhaps all that has been missing is the connection.

so here’s to putting myself out there, showing up, listening in and answering back. here’s to what could be and what awaits anxiously… here’s to further complicating things in hopes of finding a local community.

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  • Comments (8)
  1. you should just start a smallgroup of your own 😉

      • JuliaKate
      • November 9th, 2010

      i usually do… actually, i always do. this time i want to join in. i’m not even sure if that’s possible. i did find a group that i will be returning to so… we’ll see;)

  2. I get my small group time at thanksgiving with family. this year we are discussing the church’s desire to add more programs so they don’t have to be responsible for the lack of community on sundays.

    i am happy to see your desire to jump in (though you will always be a conspirator). i have no real desire to do the same, although i do long for good conversation, i am not sure i will find it discussing a predetermined book, curriculum or list of questions concerning last week’s message.

    i would however love to hang out and get some coffee with folks who are relentlessly pursuing truth. let me know if you run into any of them at a small group, maybe i’ll drop my shield and join in.

    love you sista-friend. good luck.

      • JuliaKate
      • November 15th, 2010

      we all have attended small groups and we are aware that they are flawed. they are a supplement in most cases and that’s unfortunate. i’ll keep you updated on my search and thanks for wishing me luck… i’m gonna need tons of grace, as will my small group leader, whoever that ends up being;)

    • Sylvia
    • November 9th, 2010

    love the title. yes, it is a complicated process. i’ve gone from being at church 24/7, for various reasons, to limiting my time at church to about 2 hrs on Sunday. once service is over, i say my hellos and then i exit. i still long for the meaningful relationships with people that love the same things I do. people who do seek the Truth and who do react with Love. I guess I won’t find it until I start searching. it’s not going to fall on my lap.

      • JuliaKate
      • November 15th, 2010

      for me it was timing… i haven’t been in the loop for a full year. for the next season i need partners… so i had to move into the closer relationship with my community. continue to seek Him on His timing.
      Love you friend;)

  3. Glad to hear that you are bravely attempting community within the Church. We’re praying/pulling for you!

      • JuliaKate
      • November 15th, 2010

      thanks i appreciate that!

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