Church Rehab*

i’ve been lazy about the church hunt as of late, but i’ve had some anxiety and have needed to process some deeper issues before i reconnect. enter Dr. Drew, my favourite rehab specialist. imagine if there were a VH-1 Church Rehab. imagine if there were a shepherding type of counselor, like Drew, that helped you process the strings, the ties, the motives, the abuse, the anger, the hurt, the frustration, the isolation, the pressure to perform, the insecurity, the loneliness, the double-talk, the lies, the disappointments, the goofy doctrine, the deep need within, the effects of being in the system for 30+ years… imagine.

have you watched the rehab shows with Dr. Drew? i love how he makes his little pout when the patients tell their stories. it’s like he sees the little child, neglected and misused, and is able to clump all the “violations” into one big sum of stuff that is the past… the valid horrific past, but the past. he gets them to focus on getting healthy so that they can live a normal life.

last sunday my family went out to breakfast, the farmer’s market, and even the dog park. as we were leaving the dog park, my mom turned to me and said “i loved today. i love doing normal stuff. we missed out on a lot, you know. i had an alcoholic father and you had church-aholic parents.” wow.

the church may be a very different dynamic to me than it is to you. to me, it has been the source of much pain, frustration, and conflict. the church has been “work”. to you, it may be a haven, a place of hope, a glimpse of family. my story is not entirely unique. many people have a very similar view of church. but here’s the deal… i refuse to give up on the church.  i desire to experience the church as a community.

but i need a pep talk. i need a pout and hug from Dr. Drew from time to time. i need a shepherd to use his rod to protect me. i need a shepherd to love me whether or not i am serving him and his vision. heck, i’ll be frank, i just need a shepherd. not a teacher, not an evangelist, not an anointed CEO, not a vision caster, not a perfect person, just a good old fashioned, kind, tender, and compassionate shepherd.
you know, someone like Dr. Drew;)

I am the Good Shepherd.

The Good Shepherd puts the sheep before himself,

sacrifices himself if necessary.
John 10:11


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  • Comments (10)
  1. And to this I say amen: “i refuse to give up on the church. i desire to experience the church as a community.”

      • JuliaKate
      • October 5th, 2010

      it was a repost, but the truth is… i still haven’t found what i’m looking for. and i will not give up. Amen;)

  2. Today, I am glad that you posted this again. I remember making that comment – it was a holy moment – when I felt God’s grace on my deep need to just be! I am grateful for the church’s teaching that related to taking on the virtue’s of our Christ, as these lessons both heard and practiced – allow me to walk among the ‘best’ of Christians and behave accordingly. I am no longer in pain, angry or even indifferent. Simply, I am. I am the product of those lessons, I am the product of the practice, and I am the product of His grace! I love deeply our God, but I do not embrace nor am I subject to ‘the system’, especially of my generation. I support my daughter, my sons, and my nephew – on behalf of a newer generation – those with the courage to challenge the system, but don’t allow attachment to it! I could say so much more regarding this, but I close knowing that this blog and others like it are like a juggernaut (#2 definition) – piercing through the waves, maneuvering around the ice, and do not choose to be a statistic or story such as the Titanic (#1 definition)! Bravo to you – 20 and 30 somethings! I applaud you…

    jug·ger·naut (jgr-nôt)n.
    1. Something, such as a belief or institution, that elicits blind and destructive devotion or to which people are ruthlessly sacrificed.
    2. An overwhelming, advancing force that crushes or seems to crush everything in its path: “It doesn’t assume that people need necessarily remain passive when confronted by what appears to be the juggernaut of history” (Christopher Lehmann-Haupt).

      • JuliaKate
      • October 5th, 2010

      well stated. thank you for sharing insight and wisdom. it is always appreciated.

    • erna
    • October 21st, 2010

    Thank you for your encouraging words. Thank you for your commitment. I only wish I had found your blog while I was still in LA. Then, I would have asked to share a warm cup of tea and some splendid conversation. My sister would be jealous. She’s the one that told me I simpley MUST read your blog 🙂

    Praying for you. Praying for the wounded. Praying for us.

    …and oh so thankful for our Good Shepherd!

      • JuliaKate
      • October 26th, 2010

      thank you for stopping by and i really appreciate your encouragement. Who, may I ask, is your sister? 🙂

        • erna
        • October 26th, 2010

        Her name is Meg and she found your blog through Carlos Whitaker’s blog… we work on the phones all day and spend a good amount of time each day being encouraged by blogs such as yours 🙂 we’ve also both spent our lives in ministry (our dad was a music minister until we hit about jr high) and are asking many of the same questions you are here.

          • JuliaKate
          • November 3rd, 2010

          thanks for letting my know. your words are very encouraging. not only to me, but to the others that come and read and find that they are not alone:)

  3. great to see a different perspective. i went through some similar thoughts a little while back. Celeb Rehab puts out some great stuff. keep well, great to see your thoughts RSS’d in my reader.

      • JuliaKate
      • October 26th, 2010

      thanks. as always, your comments are appreciated:)

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