contentment

sitting here waiting for my clothes to dry, dish washer’s running and my hands reek of bleach.

thinking about how much i have and how blessed i am.

gleaming from the light of my Christmas tree and the laptop that warms me and allows me to both learn and teach.

i have a song in me today.  it’s the song of a soul filled with hope and yet a soul at rest.  a soul that is blessed.

i could be in terrible pain.  i could be heavily medicated.  i could be walking the streets looking for a place to rest for the night.

i am here not only from the work i put forth, but because i was born into my circumstances.  i can never discount that.  never.

i am loved.  i am appreciated.  i am heard.  i am being and doing what has become significant.  His grace makes it significant.

i love deeply.  i am filled with gratitude.  i listen intently.  i am questioning and seeking all that is me and my portion of responsibility.

i am lazy.  i am forgetful.  i procrastinate.  i have a loose tongue.  i am surrendering and submitting to the way that best represents him.

i am happy.  i have joy.  i feel their suffering and know their struggle.  i have known struggle.  i have not tasted suffering.  i have hope.

i am held in warm and secure hands.  i am embraced by a heart that beats for all.  i have no way to soak it in, but  i am safe here.

i am secured and i guess that’s exactly what i am feeling.

if i die tonight on my way to my destination, that doesn’t change my security.

if i lose my job, my car, my apartment… my security was not rocked.

if i lose my friends and my family and perhaps even my health… my soul is secure.

that’s some crazy … stuff.

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