What I understand

23 May 2008

Current mood: awake
Category: Religion and Philosophy


St. Francis of Assisi has always been my favourite Saint.  You have to pick one!  He’s mine.  He has even become my expletive in times of need.  For so many reasons I feel a connection with the man who spoke with birds and experienced stigmata.  His conviction concerning extravagance sets well with me, but my deepest revelation from his life was his prayer which reads…”Lord grant that I not so much seek to be understood, but to understand”. 

There is something so primal within me that craves the comfort of being understood…not only heard, but understood.  But to be understood you dissolve much effort and leave with no gain.  To seek understanding is to wisely steward your energies and your intellect.  There is an acknowledgement of your place in line when it comes to truth.  You are not the giver, you are the sharer.  He gives the truth, for all truth comes from His knowing.  You share His truth, for it is not yours to “give”. 

I get it.  I understand why He desires so deeply to be known.  We desire to be known because we desire to be loved.  We feel that if somehow all the evidence of who we “are” was looked past then perhaps who we think we are could be known.  “I do that, but that’s not me.”  “I look like this but its not me.”  Its rubbish.  This is us.  This is me.  This may not be the me that I hope to portray, but this is the me that has consequentially arrived.  The problem resolves when we understand that this is us…the complete us.  The “us” we know, the “us” we are, the “us” we hope to be, the “us” that pretends and hides, and the “us” that is the loudest. 

But He is and just is.  There is no Him that hopes to one day be Him.  This is not because He is done, but because He is unchanging.  He doesn’t grow.  He doesn’t figure things out.  He doesn’t digress.  To know Him is to know Him forever.  

I want to know Him.  I want to understand what He meant when He took the time to speak out loud.  I want to understand all that He allows.  May the great mysteries be revealed if it means I grow in understanding of Him.  

Though it take skill, I will be clear.  He was clear.  He is clear.  He was not always understood.  He was however, always clear.  He spoke in parables.  He spoke through Creation.  He spoke through His decisions.  He spoke through His favour.  He spoke through His disappointment.  He spoke clearly.

A prayer by Saint Francis :
Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred . . . let me sow love
Where there is injury . . . pardon
Where there is doubt . . . faith
Where there is despair . . .hope
Where there is darkness . . . light
Where there is sadness . . .joy
Divine Master,
grant that i may not so much seek
To be consoled . . .as to console
To be understood . . .as to understand,
To be loved . . . as to love
For it is in giving . . .that we receive,
It is in pardoning, that we are pardoned,
It is in dying . . .that we are born to eternal life


Currently listening :
Fall and Winter
By Jon Foreman
Release date: 2008-01-15
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