Three decades in the making….

28 Jun 2007



When monumental events take place in my life I tend to turn towards the deeper thoughts and compilations of some of my favourite folk singers.  This time, I begin a new decade of existence and find myself less reflective and more proactive.  I have already thought it through.  I have analyzed concept and principle over and over and have determined what is righteous for the most part. 
I feel baptized.  I made the decisions, took the class, decided what mattered to me most and now I am living it in plain view.   I was submerged and now I have risen to the surface, dried off, did a little dance and embraced the beauty and sacrifice of this life.  I am full of energy and sincerity.  I am more serious and more playful than ever.  I am loving freely and strategically.  I am awaiting a love that He has prepared just for me. 

I watched a man today leave his glass behind for someone else to pick up.  I observed him as he proceeded to the front seat while I sat in the back.  I noticed his insecurity in conversation.  I heard his need for attention.  Though his goofiness was endearing, his avoidance of reality was not.  I watched another man shift and switch all that he could so that a “she” could fit into his world.  Friends were shuffled.  Activities cancelled.  Dreams reevaluated.  I knew a boy that grew to be a man.  This boy dreamed big.  He found a love and I haven’t seen a single portion of that dream realized.  If I lay it all out there will I have a better chance of carrying it out?  I too have dreamed and beyond dreaming, I have known what it is that I am to complete while I am here.  Will I shuffle and shift to make a love fit?  Will I give in to the desire and neglect the fullness of the call?  I side on the thinking that love is not so rare, but actually many are capable of finding it.  I am very aware that it has knocked on my door from time to time, but I haven’t been answering if I don’t recognize it. 

 “He’s sweet and he loves God” just isn’t even scratching the surface.  Does he know God as friend?  Does he get why I don’t usually pray for my food?  Does he believe in 10-10-80 or 100% availability?  Does he “volunteer” his time at church or does he surrender his life to whatever God has called him to?  Would he be able to hang out with my family and not get lost in the intense energy and deep analysis of kingdom issues?  Does he believe everything that is presented to him or does he know that there is a whole other world behind that stage?  Could he know of that world and exist in it without being tainted by it?  Could he remain in grace and never grow bitter from the politic of the institution? 

 Would he be able to teach me and protect me?  Would he have a fight or a cause that I could support or would he come alongside my fight?  Would he shine on his own or just sit in my shadows?  Would he get out there on the dance floor with me or leave me to “get it out of my system”?  Would he pack up our stuff in a moment’s notice if God said GO or would he live in fear and regret of what might have been?  Would he be open to an open home…one where many are welcome and could come to find peace, nourishment and healing?  Would he be one that disciples, that knew of his influence and spread it greatly and strategically?  Would he love me like my God loves me, cherishing me and nurturing me, protecting me and guiding me?  Would he be amazed by me and feel privileged to share a family with me?  Does he believe that children are gifts from God?  Does he think that the “terrible 2s” is just a myth?  Will he be devoted to the discipline and teaching of our children and be consistent and well studied on their development?  Will he buy my mother flowers on mother’s day and do touch-up painting at my grandma’s house?  Will he lend my dad a hand setting up the Christmas tree or installing a new sprinkler system?  Will he pick up a new book for my niece while he was out just because it reminded him of her?  Will he take a trip with me to Paris and listen to all my stories with a smile, reliving every moment with me?  Will he allow me to dj for long car rides, knowing I’ll mix in his favourites from time to time?  Will he surprise me with little gifts wrapped in pretty paper and cards filled with his own clever thoughts? 

I think he will.  I trust he would.  I believe he could.  I am certain that he does.

Its worth it to me and to the Kingdom to wait…I wouldn’t partner with anyone less than him=)
30 is getting better and better everyday!

Currently listening :
Like I Love You
By Justin Timberlake
Release date: 03 December, 2002
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