This evening…

01 May 2006



“I call – you answer…and you came to my rescue and I wanna be where you are.  My whole life I place in Your hands…In my life – be lifted high.  In my world – be lifted high.  In my love – be lifted high.”

The tears are flowing…I don’t even know what to write.  I don’t even think that I want to tell anyone what this feels like.  Its too much, too complicated…trop, trop, trop (its french).  I sometimes wish that I wasn’t this open.  I don’t want to get hurt.  I don’t feel like being rejected.  Truly, I want to be loved.  I want to be needed.  I just want to know…He knows of what I inquire.  I am so tired, very tired.  There is a cause here, there is a cause there…where would He have me?  What’s next?   My heart is heavy.  There is much work to be done.  What will be my part in it?  Will I even have a part in it?  My heart grieves for their cause.  I carry a weight that may may not be designated for me.  He will reveal it soon…He promised.  I am lending a hand to everyone around me.  But who will carry me today?  I need a helper…where is my helper?  “Wake up Deborah, wake up!  Wake up, wake up and sing a song.  Arise Barak!  Lead your captives away!” (Judges 5:12)  I am awake…I am willing to sing…when will this verse be completed?  In His perfect timing as always.

Abba, show me your way.  Send your fire from heaven to ignite my spirit.  Give me strength to contour my soul in alignment with your assignment as it is soon to be revealed.  I will remind myself of your promises and of your great love for me.  I will stand in the truth and walk in the path You have already set me on diligently.  Find me faithful.  I pray You continue to find me pleasing.  I know that You are aware of my need.  I know that You hear me everytime I cry out to You.  My life in your hands…its my security.  Rescue me, enable me, change me, heal me, reveal me…I long to be revealed.  In your timing.  For now…I pray that my life is pleasing and affords You  much glory.  I love you…forever.
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