Tears and Rain….Beautiful

31 Mar 06 Friday

 

I have been feeling like an outburst is on its way.  The overwhelming desire to lift my arms in the train and let out a song, the magnetic pull to lay on the floor when entering Your house, the need to let it out…what’s inside is dying to be let out.  I need a needle.  Perhaps a slow leak would suffice.  I don’t feel like being quiet about it, but I am not prepared for a show either.  There’s just so much You’re revealing to me.  There is so much love that surrounds me.  So  many new keys to the Kingdom sparkling in plain view.  So many beautiful faces drawing me in with the warmth of their smile.  Its been awhile.  I am seeking differently this week and finding more than I knew existed.  Beauty behind every corner.  None particularly for me, but all is open for my viewing.  Minus his tone of hopelessness, I am feeling like the tune by Mr. Blunt…”my life is brilliant, my love is pure.  I saw an angel smiling at me on the subway…you’re beautiful, you’re beautiful, you’re beautiful its true.”  My needs are unclear.  My petition very different.  Whatever You’d like.  I am pleased with how You’ve handled my life thus far.  I have seen things that have caught my eye and I’ve thought “maybe”.  I am so close to feeling something I have never felt and the anticipation is causing this inner need for expulsion.  Maybe I can have the moment here…now.  Throw my arms up wide and fall at your feet, letting my tears create tiny pools that surround you.  That’s what this place is essentially…tears and rain. Both can be seen as beautiful or dreadful, depending on the perspective.  This week its tears of overwhelming gratefulness and a rain that nourishes a dry land.  Je t’aime.

Currently listening :
Chasing Time: The Bedlam Sessions (Bonus Dvd)
By James Blunt
Release date: 14 March, 2006
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