An SOS to the world…

15 May 2006


“Message In A Bottle”

Just a castaway
An island lost at sea
Another lonely day
With no one here but me
More loneliness
Than any man could bear
Rescue me before I fall into despair

I’ll send an SOS to the world
I’ll send an SOS to the world
I hope that someone gets my
Message in a bottle

A year has passed since I wrote my note
But I should have known this right from the start
Only hope can keep me together
Love can mend your life
But love can break your heart

Walked out this morning
Don’t believe what I saw
A hundred billion bottles
Washed up on the shore
Seems I’m not alone at being alone
A hundred billion casatways
Looking for a home

I choose the music on purpose…everytime it is a outward sign of my own inward situation.  This time I don’t know how to put it into words…its a combination of things.  A range of emotions too wide to capture, a beautiful variety of ideas that have passed and often return, a sense of hope that remains but often feels nonexistant, a wardrobe of fears…enough to wear a new one each day…for these things I am short on words.  I don’t want to send a message to others that I can make it through these times on my own, but I also feel very strongly that God is near and He hears me before I even speak. 
My need is currently deep.  This leaves me vulnerable and somewhat sheepish.  So I am feeling alone.  I am feeling like a castaway.  I am feeling the effects of a broken heart.  I am feeling so much so intensely.  I know that I am not alone at being alone.  Its the needs of others that keep me going.  The hope that somehow my survival will be a message well understood as an encouragement to the other castaways. 
I recently took a strong liking to the show LOST.  Somehow I have found a way to parallel its theme to my current season of life.  I intentionally live my life intensely.  Preoccupied with strategy, results and seeing to it that those around me are well taken care of, I tire as the sun sets.  
But I long for a partner in this season.  Jack is the born leader, but who will he partner with?  Will it be the freaky bald-headed dude?  What about the spicey latina chic?  Or Kate?…she’s smart and they have great chemistry.  Where is the partner set aside for me?  I need the help…I am asking for the help this time.  “Only hope can keep me together now”.
And so that’s how the message ends.
Until it is accomplished…

Currently listening :
Any Given Thursday
By John Mayer
Release date: 11 February, 2003
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